Life Changing Times

I’m listening to Ramla Ali on a wonderful podcast called ‘How to Fail with Elizabeth Day’ and she just said she has always had a fear of being average. Love it.

I’ve never been average. I’m not sure if I ever wanted to be average, or in fact, if I’ve ever even thought about it. But I am very clear that it is not something I ever attained. In school, I was way below average; labelled stupid by most teachers who were inept at distinguishing trauma from stupidity – to be clear, not that anyone in school should be labelled stupid, trauma or otherwise.

In relationships I have l not been average – I can provide a list of men (yes, tragically heterosexual, all my life) who will attest to that. Words like ‘insane, driven, demanding, a complete and utter pain in the arse (yes, that was lots of words…), impossible and so many others would be used. But average; no.

And work? Nope, not there either. Moments like being on a teleconference with the UK, from Nairobi, surrounded by my team and loudly stating ‘well, you can tell xxxxx (the CEO) he can absolutely sod off and I WILL NOT do that’ and then hearing ‘Hi Sonia, this is xxxx, how are you?’ I mean, what else could you respond with other than ‘Good thanks, however you can still sod off with that idea!’

As I’m writing, I’m trying to figure out what average means to me. Words like boring spring to mind, but more than anything else, I really just don’t know.