Life Changing Times

June 2020:
– First global pandemic in over 100 years
– UK and USA ‘led’ by certifiable lunatics
– Systemic and institutional racism rampant
– The hottest month of May ever recorded in the UK

We are living massive global changes right now. Literally right now. Living history except we don’t know the outcome. So much that has been hidden by mediocrity and apathy is now coming to the surface – climate change, endemic racism, greed – now is the time we are seeing the leaders and the failures. Yes, denial and blind following will always be present, but we are seeing women leaders coming out on top, we are seeing protests rocking America, we are seeing those who felt protected in their ‘safe’ countries realise what others go through.

On the other side, I’ve just spent the last 2 days in bed. When the going gets tough and all that. I’m overwhelmed by the enormity of what is happening in the world right now. Do I cry? Do I rage? Do I hide? How much can I absorb? Should I be protesting? Have I been whitewashing my black children? How bad does it have to get out there in the world before we rise? Lines are blurred between my personal life and what is happening globally – I function on empathy and that demands a high level of self-awareness and accountability. Its all too easy to make it all about you when its not.

I’m out of funny right now. Doing really well on anxiety. Energy seems to be on the same holiday as funny. Hope is irrepressible, sometimes obscured, but always managing to peek out around the side of anxiety. Apathy is, well, apathetically, hanging around. Rage for justice is absent and I am lost without that. Luckily, the desire for chocolate remains.