Finding out you have breast cancer is a trip in and of itself. However, you then find a whole new world of cancer treatment, which is like entering into a parallel universe. Yes, cancer is dark and terrifying – but bloody hell, the surreal nature of it all at times leads to genuine hilarity.
My first visit to a chemo ward was…unusual. Or perhaps absolutely normal – who knows since visits to chemo wards are not something you put in your life plans. I’d spent 3 months preparing, absorbing as much as could after my diagnosis, deciding the right course of action for me. I found peace with the belts and braces approach my cancer team proposed – 6 months of chemotherapy, surgery, radiotherapy.
So on day one, off my friend and I trot to the Royal Marsden Hospital in London, to the rather plush private chemo ward. These were my notes from the first half of the day…. no sign of any chemo:
- I got lost 3 times around the hospital (something that continued during very many subsequent visits)
- Dealt with my consultant who was sadly rather dismissive, having been lovely the first time I met him
- Pissed myself laughing with Claire more than 3 times
- Was sent to accounts where there was general confusion and of course liberal doses of paper pushing and box-ticking
- Ordered lunch from my chemo(less) chair – does anyone expect lunch menus on a chemo ward?!
- I was told many women actually gain weight on this chemo. Likely won’t be a problem for me since I don’t seem to be getting it anyway
- Found out I will have a great anti-emetic (no, not anti semetic as someone asked me earlier) drug
- Had my arm in a bucket of hot water
Apparently, the actual administering of the chemo drugs takes approximately 40 mins…..at that point in the day I was doubtful I was going to find out
Life Changing Times 
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